Good Growing

Practicing Effective Praise

When you praise your child, your words can boost their confidence and self-esteem. Praise can also encourage a child and reinforce positive behavior.

The most effective praise is specific, timely and sincere. Think of it as ‘catching your child in the act’ of behaving well — and telling them so. You are reporting to them exactly what they did and how their actions reflect their positive qualities. And when praise is personal and specific, it strengthens your connection.

Below are some examples of what effective praise might sound like.

Praise for a young child could be: “I appreciate that you’re putting away your toys where they belong. It’s a big job, and you’re getting it done!” Or: “I’m noticing how you are sharing with your friends; that’s a kind and generous thing to do.”

For school-age kids, it might sound like: “I admire the effort you’re putting into this school assignment. You’re taking the time to be thorough and thoughtful.” Or: “I am so impressed with how you’re working through your music lesson; that takes a lot of patience and determination.” And praise can motivate a child to keep going even if they’re feeling discouraged: “I know you’d like more playing time this season, yet you always give 100% effort and you’re a positive, supportive teammate.”

Teens crave praise, too! Let them know how you feel. “I appreciate you being back home on time tonight without a reminder; it shows that you’re responsible and respectful.” Or: “I know it’s not always easy to sit through dinner without your phone, and I appreciate how you prioritize our family time.”

You’ll note that the examples above start with “I” rather than “you.” That’s because you’re sharing your own observation. Getting into this habit when you praise a child also helps to avoid vague ‘label’ praise such as “You’re so smart!” or “You’re so fast!” And it’s much more meaningful than automatic, empty praise such as “Great job!” Praise is best when it’s focused on a child’s effort and persistence, rather than the outcome. The most effective praise reinforces a child’s strong character and values. This is more helpful than an achievement-focused comment such as “You made the honor roll!”  Your child won’t always achieve everything they attempt, but they can always feel proud of their diligence and dedication.

It’s satisfying to use this powerful parenting tool. You’re helping your child develop and strengthen the positive qualities that will benefit them their entire life.

Explore more articles on parenting.

Playground Safety

Playgrounds are where kids have fun, socialize, learn to solve problems, grow skills and gain confidence — all while moving their bodies. Playgrounds are also where many injuries happen, which is why it’s important to keep the following safety tips in mind.

• Use age-appropriate play areas and supervise your child.
• Ensure that kids take turns and never push or roughhouse on play structures.
• Teach them to stay away from the fronts and backs of swings while in use.
• Don’t allow ‘riding double’ on swings, slides and other equipment.
• Check the temperature of metal slides before using.
• Remove necklaces, purses, scarves or clothing with drawstrings that can get caught on equipment and be a strangulation hazard. Even helmets can be dangerous on a playground, so save those for bikes.
• Check play equipment for exposed bolt heads, sharp edges and places where fingers can get pinched. Don’t use damaged equipment and report any hazards.
• Avoid playgrounds with non-impact-absorbing surfaces. Wood chips and other soft surfaces are safest.

Get more injury prevention information for safe summer play.

Drowning Facts and Prevention

For children ages 1 to 4, drowning is the number-one cause of injury-related death. When we expand the age range to kids 19 and under, it’s the third-leading cause of injury-related death.

Drowning is preventable — and close supervision is key. For parents and caregivers, building awareness and changing behaviors is crucial.

Drowning is often fast and silent. Drowning can happen in as fast as 30 seconds. And it’s usually quiet — with no splashing, waving or yelling.

Children who drown are usually not alone. A shocking 88% of child drownings happen with at least one adult present. When children drown, 50% are within 25 yards of a parent or adult. And 23% of child drownings happen during a family pool gathering.

Having adults present isn’t enough. Adults must be distraction-free — no phones, books or multi-tasking — and fully focused when kids are in or near water. (Among toddlers, 70% of drownings happen during non-swim times, when the child isn’t expected to be in the water.)

Use touch supervision. When young children, weak swimmers and non-swimmers are in the water, an adult must always be within literal arm’s reach.

Practice the ‘5 Layers of Protection.’ Because any single drowning-prevention strategy can fail, 5 layers of protection are needed: Barriers & Alarms, Close Supervision, Water Competency, Life Jackets and Emergency Preparation.

Visit our drowning prevention pages for tips by age group, a coupon for life jackets and open water guidelines.

Sibling Fighting

For kids, summer brings less structure, more free hours and more time spent with brothers and sisters. One result is that sibling fighting may increase in both frequency and intensity. While it’s normal for siblings to fight, it can be draining for both kids and parents.

What action should parents take? Remain calm and don’t take sides. Whenever possible, stay out of it unless there’s danger of physical harm or the same child is always the victim. Keep in mind that when parents step away, the fight may end sooner due to lack of an audience.

Sibling spats can teach kids some important life skills. They learn to compromise, solve their own problems, and cope when they don’t get their way. Agree on some family rules for disagreements: we keep our hands to ourselves, we don’t call names or curse, we don’t yell. Learning to control ourselves — especially when we’re angry — is another valuable life skill.

Explore more articles on parenting.

Plan for Thoughtful Media Use

Summer is a great time to make or update your family’s media-use plan. It’s a chance to align your usage with your family’s values and your household routines. Your plan is easy to create with a free online tool developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Set up a profile for each family member (including adults) and then define your family’s priorities to create a customized plan, which includes helpful tips. You can make a full plan or choose just a few parts that matter most to you. Clear expectations around screens and digital media have a way of reducing conflict within a family, and this tool can help!

Visit Screen Time and Digital Media Use for more tips.

Journaling for Mental Health

As parents, we want to encourage our kids to adopt healthy habits and activities. Journaling can be a free and simple way to reduce stress and increase self-awareness. It’s a helpful way for kids to process emotions, events and the choices they make. Plus, journal-keeping can be a creative outlet — a powerful form of self-expression they can practice into adulthood.

There are several ways to keep a journal. Some kids may like the convenience and security of a digital diary on their phone or laptop. Others may prefer a physical journal with pages they can touch and leaf through. And for kids who don’t like the idea of keeping their private thoughts in physical form, they can write on colorful scraps of paper that can be shredded into confetti.

A journal can be much more than a place for words. It can contain doodles, sketches, photos, collages, ticket stubs, inspiring quotes and passages from favorite books. For kids who want to keep a physical journal, they’ll enjoy gathering materials that inspire them. Help them find just the right notebook or sketchbook, colorful pens and pencils, stickers and other supplies.

What kids choose to write about is of course up to them. Some find it helpful to write every day around the same time, and others choose to write when the mood strikes. Journaling doesn’t require long paragraphs or a big commitment of time. Short, simple entries are all that’s needed. For example, before bed each night they can quickly note three things for which they’re grateful; this simple daily ritual can help people of all ages feel calm and optimistic.

Journaling is a type of meditation with rich rewards.

Visit this handout for more on the positive effects of journaling, ideas for topics or prompts, plus tips to help ensure a child’s privacy and mental well-being.